


Plan of Attack – Or How Chirrut Îmwe is Infinitely Better at Attacks Than Plans

by Arktikko



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Backstory, Chirrut is kind of intense and poor Baze has to deal, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 07:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10759779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arktikko/pseuds/Arktikko
Summary: Baze has been away for a month which has left Chirrut plenty of time to come up with a plan on how to let Baze know just how he feels. It's the first plan Chirrut has ever actually made and he is pretty proud of it actually, thank you very much. Of course, Baze doesn't know about it so he has no consideration for Chirrut's stress levels when he absolutely ruins it.Written for the Spiritassassin week 2017 prompt "confessions"





	Plan of Attack – Or How Chirrut Îmwe is Infinitely Better at Attacks Than Plans

”I’m one with the Force and the Force is with me. I’m one with the Force and the Force is with me. I’m one with the Force and the Force is w-with me. I’m one with the- the Force and the Force is- the Force is….”

”Oh _fuck._ ”

Wind whistled past Chirrut, making his skin prickle just as he sat down. The balcony he was perched on was ancient and almost completely wasted away, gaping with massive holes that had been created by the cold Jedhan wind and extreme weather conditions during the last couple of thousand years. Chirrut slumped against the parapet and looked down through the gaps at the temple and the city below him, seemingly small from so high above. The cold air and the whistling of the wind weaving through the old building usually helped him to meditate, even on the days where his mind felt bursting. He only came here few times a month so the effect of the place wouldn’t be diluted due to him getting used to it. There was something about the combination of sound and temperature that forced even the infamously fickle Chirrut Îmwe to focus.

Not today apparently.

At 18 standard years old, Chirrut had been at the temple for exactly half of his life. The thought felt surreal somehow. The first half of his life seemed like a distant memory – something that happened ages ago – and yet because he had spent every day struggling to survive, those days had seemed to last forever. He could hardly believe that that part of his life had actually ended, even after all these years. The years at the temple had been better, immensely so, but something about the rituals and routines made time fly in a way he hadn’t been prepared for. These past few years had left him stranded at the cusp of adulthood, unsure how he exactly got there. Not that the life in the temple had been uneventful, quite the opposite. He still had a habit of getting himself into trouble as he had never quite learned to listen to the rules he had never really cared to learn. It wasn’t once or twice he had been dragged through the hallways by his ears or spent long nights doing chores. He had gained a reputation as a troublemaker and a trickster, a reputation that wasn’t completely unfounded, and he had been known to make even the elder guardians lose their highly venerated tempers. Yet this place was his home, stuffy rules and everything. Even the teachers who pretended to hate him didn't really, and no-one could dispute that he was good at what he did. He even gained friends for the first time in his life! Chirrut would forever be grateful to the temple, the only place in his life where he had known happiness and friendship a-and…

His stomach lurched and he leant his head against the sandstone with a sigh. He was acting ridiculous. He didn’t remember ever feeling this restless, which should have been impossible as he was nearly always restless. Chirrut was used to not being able to focus but this sickening nervousness wasn’t like him. He had even resorted to making plans – Force save him – which was highly uncharacteristic of him (and if he was honest, much harder than he had thought it would be). Besides, there was no reason he should be this nervous right now, here on this stupid balcony. There were still two days left before Baze would come back and Chirrut would actually have to execute the plan.

His Baze…

His stomach lurched again and he wondered absentmindedly whether he was actually going to throw up. The thought of Baze reminded him of the last time he had been here on this balcony. Hardly anyone climbed here anymore. The numbers of the guardians had dwindled over the centuries and while the eastern tower wasn’t off limits, it was barely used and in bad shape so most people avoided it. The only person who came up here anymore was him, and though Baze also knew of this place he usually didn't follow Chirrut here as he had a fear of heights. The last time they had been here had been the exception to the rule.

Chirrut tried to run his fingers through his hair out of habit, useless now as his hair had been shaven to a short stubble as a mark of passing the sixth duan. _Force_ why was this so hard? He groaned and buried his face in his hands.

The last time had been about a month ago after Chirrut had had a nightmare, the first one he had had in several years. In the dream he had been seven again, running so fast he tasted copper, scrambling away from the bloodcurdling screams that he knew belonged to his friend. As he ran, he realised coldly that if whoever was following him was going to catch him they would do the same to him as they were doing to his friend. He had woken up to Baze trying to keep him from thrashing the whole bed, eyes blurry with tears. He had needed to meditate but the warm dark of the acolyte room he, Baze, and a few others shared, had made it impossible. Chirrut knew the only way for him to calm down was to come up here, but he couldn’t bear the thought of letting go of Baze for long enough to do so, his friend’s presence the only thing grounding him to reality. Baze had made the decision for him and braved his fear of heights so while Chirrut had meditated himself calm, Baze had been here on the balcony with him and had not let go of his hand for a second.

Baze… his Baze.

His Baze, who had been there for him, only the small scrunch of his eyebrows betraying how terrified he had been. His warm brown eyes had been squeezed shut in concentration and the cold air had made the tips of his ears red. After Chirrut had calmed down and opened his eyes to find that Baze had had his closed, he had taken the opportunity to examine Baze's face without him knowing. It had been kind of unfair given how much Baze had done for him that night but Baze always got flustered under scrutiny. That was charming as well, but Chirrut had just wanted to look at him. His Baze pretending like he wasn’t afraid just so he could protect Chirrut. It had made his heart ache. After a while, he hadn’t been able to help himself. He had reached out and cupped Baze’s cheek, softly as if to not disturb him and, Baze had opened his eyes and looked at him. The emotion he had felt in that moment had left him breathless.

It had also been the last time they had seen each other.

Top of his class and slightly further along in his studies than Chirrut, Baze was everyone’s favourite, including the Abbot’s. Chirrut could relate, Baze was his favourite too. However, unlike Chirrut, everyone else also had big plans for Baze. Baze might be quiet, but beneath that quietness was an intellect and passion. Baze could debate with anyone – even the Abbot – though usually, his shyness got the best of him. Chirrut had heard whispers that the elders had plans to make Baze the next envoy: the perfect guardian to represent the order and meet with other religious factors they worked with. That was why Baze had been assigned on this mission. His job was to travel with the current envoy and to work as a kind of a mix between a handyman and an apprentice. There was a conference of sorts in Coruscant and the envoy had been invited to represent the Whills. It had been the Abbot’s idea that she should take Baze with her to learn the ropes and see the world. It had been a last minute decision that Baze himself had only learned about on the day of the departure, the day after Chirrut’s nightmare. A month ago.

Chirrut rubbed his head, finding that the coarse texture of his hair felt good against his palms. The sensation calmed him down somewhat. Not enough though. At this point, he wondered if anything short of Baze coming back would be enough to calm him down.

_A whole month._

If the time at the temple had a habit of flying away from him, this month it had practically stopped, crawling like a desert creature looking for water. This wasn’t the first time they had been separated since they had become friends, but it had been a long time since and a lot had managed to change. Too much maybe. Chirrut thought of how tender Baze's expression had been the last time he'd seen him, how determined he had looked, trying to not let his fear show for Chirrut’s sake. Chirrut had felt like he was suddenly burning. Force, how much he had wanted to lean forward and finally, finally kiss the small frown off of those lips, the one that nearly always lingered there. Instead, and not for the first time, hesitation had stilled him.

Why hadn’t he kissed Baze already? He had asked that question of himself just as many times as he had asked why the hell he wanted to kiss him in the first place. The answer to both was, unfortunately, the same.

 

He loved Baze.

 

His stomach did another dangerous flip and Chirrut leant forward bracing his head on his knees. The wind was getting stronger and colder, and the hair on his arms was standing up. He dragged his fingers against the sandstone between his legs, trying to bring himself back to reality. This was ridiculous.

He had probably been in love with Baze from the moment they had met. Poor Baze, an orphan like him, but raised in the prosperity of the temple, hadn't known what he was getting into when he had crossed the acolyte room to be the first one to talk to him. The other kids had been scared of him and for a good reason: he had only very recently been brought to the temple and he was still unpredictable and occasionally hostile. Baze had been scared too, Chirrut knew it now, but Baze had also seen trough him, seen trough his bravado that he needed someone to talk to, someone who cared. Baze had put his own fears aside because he had realised that Chirrut needed help. Who could have blamed Chirrut for attaching himself to Baze and never letting go? He had loved Baze from that point on, though he hadn't realised it until many years later.

Chirrut smiled at the thought, at all of what they had gotten up to. He had turned the temple’s golden boy into a teenager who would get into all kinds of trouble, albeit mostly due to him trying to get Chirrut out of it. Chirrut who would pester him till he would agree to any dumb plan he had. Chirrut who was both fearless and shameless, traits that gained him admiration and disdain in equal measure. Baze was often the only thing keeping him from going completely off the rails.  
Yet it wasn't like Baze didn’t need him too. For every the time he had needed Baze to put aside his fears and help him, there had been countless times Chirrut had had to put aside his carefree facade and comfort Baze instead. Baze’s soft heart bruised easily. Chirrut felt a grin tugging at his mouth when he remembered one particular time when a teenage crush on an older guardian had left Baze in tears and Chirrut with a mix of worry for his friend, anger at the person who had done this to him, and jealousy that had threatened to burn down the sun (even though he hadn’t realized it had been jealousy at that point). No, it had taken both of them a growth spurt and a few years each before Chirrut had realized why exactly it was that he got so heated when sparring with Baze and why looking at his newly gained weight, Baze’s body turning from a chubby teenager to a strong adult, made him blush so hotly. Having realised what the reason was he had climbed up here, half to calm his racing thoughts, half to calm his raging- well…

Chirrut giggled at the memory.

He got up and started pacing the balcony, carefully walking around the gaping holes in the sandstone and trying his best to not let his thoughts run away from him. Meditating didn’t seem to be an option right now. Maybe it would help if he walked through his plan one more time? Yes, that was a good idea. That’s how plans worked right? He didn’t have much experience, preferring to work on instinct in nearly everything as instinct was the only thing that had kept him alive this far. However, this was _important_. Important in a way not a lot of things had been so far. Chirrut had a distinct feeling that if he fucked this up the consequences could be astronomical. Like Baze not being his friend anymore. The thought made his stomach roll. _No_ , he had to do this right, he had to. He shook his head. Focus. Plan. Right.

In two days Baze would come back and he would be ready. Chirrut would be there waiting on the temple landing grounds and as soon as they had finished the welcoming ceremony Chirrut would come and steal Baze away, and Baze would allow him because he always went along with Chirrut's plans. Maybe he’d even smile that shy smile he did when he was feeling really touched by something Chirrut did for him, maybe he would even blush and duck away and- no focus Chirrut! Force he was bad enough at focusing without thinking about Baze’s stupid face. Baze's stupid face that he wanted to kiss so desperately. Chirrut thought of all the people whose love life he had laughed at before and thought that he maybe did deserve this.

But back to the plan. He would pull Baze to go with him, away from the crowd and into the abandoned eastern tower. There was an old training room a couple of staircases down from here. He had found it on one of his explorations. It was perfect; secluded and not so high up that Baze would feel scared. Earlier that day Chirrut would have snuck to the market and bought some of Baze’s favourite spiced root soup and laid out some blankets for them there. He’d gotten that idea from one the romance novels Baze kept under his bed. Baze had tried to hide them from him, blushing that wonderful way that reached his ears, but Chirrut had managed to steal one anyway. It hadn’t been his thing, he had little patience for reading, but the idea had seemed good and he thought Baze might appreciate the gesture. They would eat on the blanket and Baze would be so happy and Chirrut would lean over and kiss him, soup and all and it would be a perfect success. It had to be. He couldn’t bear the thought of what would happen if it wasn't.

He leant over the parapet, gazing down at the temple below him. He was somewhat calmer now. It was a good plan, not foolproof, but as close as he could get to one. It was a good plan and he had absolutely nothing to worry about. Not in two days at least.

”Chirrut?”

  
Chirrut jumped and nearly tripped into one of the gaps on the balcony floor. He managed to swivel to the side enough to avoid that fate but the move resulted in him losing all balance and toppling over right next to the hole, hitting his knee hard on the sandstone. He could hear a scared and painfully familiar gasp from the doorway and he thought he might be having some kind of a waking dream. People had those right? The fall had hurt but Chirrut could hardly even tell anymore, his mind blank, his heartbeat hammering in his ears.

”Oh Force! Chirrut I’m so sorry I didn’t think- I’m so sorry!”

The voice was startled, low, rumbly and so familiar. Chirrut kept his eyes on the sandstone floor, frozen in place. And then he heard the shuffling of feet on the stone. And then there was a pair of strong arms helping him up. And then he found himself gazing into very familiar eyes now glossed over in worry, and then and then-

”What are you doing here!?” he squeaked indignantly.

Baze’s expression shifted from worried to confused, his eyebrows staying in a nervous frown. He looked the same, if not slightly more tired than usual and dressed in relatively fancy robes. The month seemed to have been kind to him. Chirrut imagined how stupid he himself probably looked, face and body both frozen in shock.

”I came back?” Baze offered, confusion painted across his face.

”You weren’t supposed to!”

He immediately kicked himself mentally as Baze’s face fell. Fuck this was going south fast ”Yet I mean! You weren’t supposed to come back yet! You were supposed to come back in two days!” He managed, hoping it would peel away some of the hurt that had gathered on Baze’s face. Chirrut could practically see all of the hours he’d wasted planning on their reunion dribble away – his chances with them. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-_

”I-… the conference ended on time but we got transport two days earlier than we had planned” Baze mumbled, his features having somewhat reverted back from hurt, to deeply confused. Small mercies. ”No one told you?”

”No!” He huffed furiously. ”No-one told me!” The connection had been bad all month and the elders didn’t want him spending all his days at the comm room so he had only been allowed one short message in the whole time Baze had been away. He had received a similar one from Baze, telling of a similar situation. It seemed like the elders hadn't thought to inform him of the latest changes, though Force be damned they should know better by now! He paced the balcony trying to figure out what he was going to do next. Baze stared at him silently.

”I…” After a while he spoke again, Baze’s deep voice sounding even more careful than usual. ”You don’t seem happy to see me” Chirrut stopped in his tracks and turned to him.

”What kind of a stupid thing to say!” He frowned and in two strides moved in front of Baze and grabbed him by both elbows shaking him slightly. ” Of course I’m happy to see you!” He said it louder than he maybe should have but the frown on Baze’s face made him feel desperate to assure him somehow.

”It’s just that…" he continued weakly "...I had a plan and–” he stopped himself and bit his lip, realising he probably sounded insane. Baze’s eyes caught the movement of his mouth and he blushed slightly. Chirrut suddenly realised how close they were and dropped his hands, stepping back a bit. Baze looked both relieved and disappointed.

”A plan?”

”Yeah I.. " Chirrut made a face. "You know what, never mind.”

A beat of silence. Baze glanced around, eyes catching on the crumbling edges of the balcony, took a shuddering breath and forced his eyes back on Chirrut again.

And then Chirrut felt like an idiot.

”Wait! What are you doing up here?” Chirrut asked and from Baze’s expression, he knew he had been hoping that Chirrut wouldn’t bring it up. Chirrut grabbed at him again, this time hoping it would somehow comfort Baze. Baze grimaced.

”I asked around to find out where you were and no-one knew, so I figured you’d have to be here,” he said. It seemed like at the mention of where they were, a small layer of composure had worn off of Baze and Chirrut could hear the slight tremor in his voice, notice the darting of his eyes. He felt incredibly stupid to have lead Baze here again.

”You could have waited till I came down, or sent someone! You didn’t have to come up here again,” Chirrut was rubbing his palms up and down Baze’s arms in what he was hoping was a soothing motion. Baze flushed and looked at the ground, this time more bashful than scared.

”I needed to see you,” he said with and only slight wobble ”I have something I wanna say and I couldn’t wait any longer.”

Now it was Chirrut’s time to look confused.

”Something you wanna say?”

”Yeah…” Baze suddenly looked like he was completely terrified, but not of the height this time, though what else it could be Chirrut couldn’t say.

”Have I gotten you in trouble again?” Chirrut asked in a sad effort to lift the mood. If possible Baze looked even more worried. Great.

”Okay, if it’s something you wanna tell me, just tell me. You look so worried It has to be important,” Chirrut said. His mind was racing to think of what it could possibly be, what could Baze need to tell him so badly he had climbed all the way to this place just to say it as soon as possible. His mind stayed woefully blank. Baze closed his eyes, took a deep breath and then spoke.

”Chirrut..” He said, his voice shaky but clear ” I realised something on the trip … I mean I guess I’ve known it for a long time but I realised that it is something I need to tell you and I need to do it as soon as possible. It wouldn’t be fair to you otherwise” He bit his lip and took a shaky breath.

”I …. Chirrut I’m…. ” he closed his eyes again briefly, squeezing them shut for only a few seconds and the opening them again, something like resolve shining through.

 

” Chirrut, you have my heart.”

 

Baze’s expression was that of determination and terror.

 

Chirrut thought he just might fall again.

 

”You have my heart, and you’ve had it for a long time, years now. I understand–” pain flickered across his soft features as he spoke ” I understand if you don’t like it, o-or if you don’t want to be friends with me because of it. But please believe me that I am not asking anything of you. There is nothing I want from you that you don’t freely give. It’s just that this last month felt longer than any I remember and I thought of what would happen if I wouldn’t be able to return here, return to you, and realised you would never know what you are to me, and I couldn't bear that thought. The moment I stepped from the ship I knew I would have to tell you as soon as I could so I wouldn't have to ever fear that again. That’s why I climbed up here.”

Baze looked all the parts of a determined 19-year-old who had pushed all his fears aside and laid out his tender yearning heart for him to inspect.

And it was beautiful.

And Chirrut burst into laughter.

The laughter was loud, uncontrollable and came from somewhere deep within his core. For a few seconds, Baze’s expression was that of pure unadulterated shock until it turned into anger. Chirrut saw it all happen but was unable to stop himself from laughing for long enough to say anything, clutching his sides and feeling tears prickle at the corners of his eyes.

”Don’t laugh you fool! I’m serious!” Baze was flushed with embarrassment and anger. He looked as red as the root soup he loved so much. It just made Chirrut laugh harder.

”I know, I know! I’m not – I’m not laughing at you! I’m laughing at myself!” He finally managed to wheeze out.

That caught Baze off guard, his expression immediately back to confusion.

”At yourself?” Chirrut gave him a bubbling smile.

”Yes! At me! At Chirrut Îmwe who never plans ahead, with all of his plans and arrangements and schemes. And you!” He said and threw his hands in the air, grinning so wide his face hurt. ” Baze Malbus who ponders and considers just walks in and ruins all of them impulsively!” He stepped closer to Baze who was just staring at him now, evidently given up on trying to understand how to react. ”Ruining all of my plans…” He repeated, somewhat calmer now, and looked up at Baze whose brows were furrowed again.

”Chirrut what are you even-”

”Oh fuck my plans,” he said and surged up to press their lips together.

Baze made a muffled noise of surprise but Chirrut just threw his arms around Baze’s broad shoulders and pulled him down, kissing him with all his might. Recovering from his shock, Baze brought his hands on Chirrut's sides and kissed him back awkwardly, flushing so hot Chirrut could feel it. Neither of them was very experienced, both of their knees were wobbly, there were too many teeth and Chirrut was convinced it was the world’s best kiss anyway.

When he finally let go of Baze they were both out of breath and flushed from head to toe. Chirrut was grinning so hard he felt like his face might break and there was a shy overwhelmed smile playing on Baze’s lips as well. He chuckled.

”So I’m assuming your plan had something to do with-”

”Kissing you silly? Yes, it did, though it also involved root soup and blankets,” he laughed and took a hold of Baze’s hand and squeezed. Baze smiled wider and squeezed him back and the happy bubbles in his chest were almost painful.

”I can’t believe you ruined my plan, I spent so long on it. Ruining plans is my thing,” Chirrut said and grinned wide.

”I can’t believe you had one,” Baze said and Chirrut laughed again.

”It wasn’t easy I’ll have you know!”

”I’m sorry for messing it up then.”

”You should be, it was very romantic. You missed a lot of cool things when you decided to run up here and sweep me off my feet. I'll just have to tell you about them now.” Baze blushed and looked at his feet ruefully.

”I would like that…just maybe,” he sniffed and looked around again, eyes lingering on the cracks on the balcony floor ”…not here”. Chirrut grinned and pulled him towards the door.

”I’ll tell you everything on the way down, I might even show you the room I had planned to take you to. It should be pretty secluded right now.” Chirrut flashed a grin over his shoulder and Baze blushed even more scarlet but let himself get dragged towards the stairs.

”I would… I would like that too," Baze said softly and Chirrut had never loved anyone more.

”I knew you would. I planned on it.”

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO I know this is a day late, but I had a busy week and as it's only a day late I figured I could just post it. This was written pretty fast and without a beta and English is still my second language so I apologise for all mistakes. I hope you liked it anyway!


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